Wired for Sex?
How understanding Neurophysiology can help your recover.
Do you feel like the no matter what you do, you
still fail at keeping sexually sober? There is some information that may be
really important for you to know. Consider the notion that there are times
when you are doing really well and others where you seem to have little
control. What made the difference? This question is not a rhetorical as it
sounds. That means for you to successfully recovery, you have to think
about what keeps you sober. . . and what doesn't.
Let us have
simple lesson in how our nervous systems work. There is something called
the Autonomic Nervous System. This system is always functioning and helps
us survive the stresses of live. There are three divisions among the
Autonomic Nervous System (ANS): Sympathetic Nervous System (NS),
Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS) and Enteric Nervous System (EN).
The Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) is activated when we experience
danger. It kicks in automatically to help us survive by increasing our
heartbeat, our breathing, and our adrenaline. It stops digestion, stops our
elimination, the blood leaves our extremities and goes to our core. Hence,
the term "break out into a cold sweat." Our pupils dilate, the blood
leaves our pre-frontal cortex (higher thinking) and goes to our survival
center, the limbic system which is pretty binary. It is "this" or it is
"that." It is "fight" or it is "flight." Our speech stops, "we are
speechless." I remember the term "sympathetic" and what happens here by
thinking I am sympathetic to someone running from a bear. Parasympathetic
Nervous System is like a "paramedic" to the rescue. When we are rescued we
The Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS) is the "rest and
digest" systems. We are calm, our blood goes to our extremities, arms and
legs so that we can really relax and enjoy the warm sensation. This is how
mood rings measure temperature to determine our mood, by how our circulation
is in our body and how warm we are. This is why we relax so well in a hot
tub, a nice bath or enjoying the warms of the sun. In the PNS, we can
digest our food properly, our sphincter muscles are relaxed we can eliminate
waste. Why is is so comforting to release urine or "pee." That
wave of relief is out Parasympathetic Nervous System kicking in. Is it not
just the emptying our our bladders or is our PNS activated. Our pupils
constrict and we have more blood flow go to our cortex. We can think
better. Our speech is engaged. So how does this information help with sex
So, when a person gets stressed, where anxiety and fear go up, the SNS
system kicks in. Fight or flight. What do they do? They
run to something that can help them relax. They trigger a PNS response
by acting out. Think about it. It takes the Parasympathetic
Nervous System to kick in to have sex. Blood flow to the extremities.
That's right, getting an erection is based on this blood flow. This is
why erectile dysfunction can be treated by treating the anxiety behind it.
Teaching a person relaxation strategies will help the blood flow problem.
It is kind of interesting to explore this design, how one is really going to
digest food, get erections and think a lot in the prefontal cortex
when attacked by a bear. We go to the fight or flight mode and get out
The sex addict uses sex to try to calm down. Since they use sexual
behavior so much, they have difficulty thinking of something better.
Or is it because they don't have other methods they use sexual behavior?
Regardless, the solution is to help people discover other ways to activate
the Parasympathetic Nervous System.
If you or someone you love are affected by sexual addiction, consider
visiting our store for the Audio Download programs
or coaching from Erik Bohlin, M.A.
Contact us for more info